Worth the Wait Read online

  I sank into the hard plastic chair in Lacy’s office and rested my face against the peeling veneer of her desk. Before long, the door swung open.

  “Did you hear any of that?” she asked.

  “Enough.”

  “It won’t be a secret for long. We’re going to have to warn people. Don’t panic. Just make sure you have enough canned food for the four of you for a few weeks. And stock up on medicines for Walter and Mary, and anything Ian might need if he gets a cold or a fever.”

  “Great.” I pressed my knuckles against my aching eyeballs. I felt like they were about to pop out of my head. “I have so much extra money for that right now.”

  She put her hand on my arm. “Let me get some of it for you.”

  “I know what you make, and I am not taking your money,” I said. “Now, if you happen to win the lottery, all bets are off.”

  She laughed.

  “Seriously. How much should I worry?” I asked.

  “Not at all. Just pretend there’s a hurricane coming.”

  “We don’t live by the ocean. And besides, wouldn’t we evacuate for that?”

  “Okay, bad example. Pretend there’s a tornado coming.”

  “You are not helping.” The thought of four weeks with Ian, Walter, and Mary in the farmhouse with no power was not a welcome thought.

  “Hey, I’m trained to think of all possible scenarios,” she replied.

  I grabbed her shoulders and gave her a little shake. “If anything does go down, then I’m going to need you to come by every night with a big ol’ bottle of wine.”

  “I think the liquor supply will be the first thing to go.”

  “Ugh.” I gave Lacy a big hug. “I need to get back to the ranch. The fence needs repairing—one of the cows showed up by my bedroom window last night and started mooing at five am.” Ian had thought it was great fun to see the big cow lick the window pane, but I hadn’t been amused.

  I left while Lacy was still cracking up.

  Two hours into the fence repair, I was burning hot. Even for May, the day was unusually warm at eighty-eight degrees and the sun felt like it was a laser beam shooting straight at my face. My stomach started growling.

  As I straightened the last piece of wire, my foot caught on the spare board I’d left lying there. Of course, I tripped. The wire wasn’t sharp, but it sliced through my skin. There was no pain, but blood flowed across my skin, soaking my work gloves.

  Lovely. A few band-aids weren't going to cut it for this and I needed a tetanus shot, too. Working on a farm, you’d think I’d have kept up with my vaccines a little better, but nope. At least I was rigid with the cows. With no insurance, I’d totally neglected getting taken care of myself.

  There was one clinic in town, run exclusively by Dr. Smith and his nurse. He was old and grouchy, but he loved horses, and whenever he and his wife left town, he let me take care of his thoroughbred horses, Milly and Jilly. In exchange, Dr. Smith would treat Ian and me for free at the clinic, as long as we didn’t need any X-rays or outside tests. Surely he would be able to squeeze a tetanus shot and some stitches in there out of the kindness of his heart. Maybe.

  Fate must have decided to smile on me that day, because Dr. Smith was a smidge less grumpy than usual and he stitched my arm for free, gave me a shot for free, and even sent home a grape lollipop for Ian—for free.

  I left his office with a spring in my step, which was pretty weird considering I’d just ripped my arm open halfway, but I hadn’t spent any money to get it fixed so maybe things were looking up for me.

  Until I pulled the front door open.

  I hadn’t been sleep deprived yesterday. Or I might have been, but that wasn’t the problem. I hadn’t been hallucinating either when I thought I’d caught a glimpse of my ex.

  Right in front of me was James Matthew Wakefield.

  Tall and handsome as ever, he stood in front of me in his pristine black suit, white shirt, and black tie. He always wanted to look neat and put together, even when we were in middle school and everyone else was slouchy and gross. He looked like he belonged a universe away from me as I faced him in my ratty ranch clothes, covered in dust and my rolled-up sleeve completely saturated with blood.

  “Bree. What are you doing here?” he asked.

  It was sad to say that his voice was just as deep and sexy as ever. “What am I doing here?” The nerve of this guy—move away, leave me high and dry, and then ask a dumbass question like that? “I live here. A better question is what are you doing here?”

  “Official business. We’ll be holding a town hall soon. Make sure you come.”

  High-handed as always. As if I was going to do his bidding. I would probably go to the town meeting, but that was because I was a responsible and concerned citizen, not because he told me to.

  He didn’t like being rattled, though his pissed-off expression turned concerned as he took a closer look at me. “What happened?” His gaze went straight to my arm, which was wrapped in white gauze from my elbow to my wrist. His hand came up, as if he was going to touch my shoulder.

  Quick as lightning, I yanked back, banging into the wooden door. Dammit. I already looked like a mess. Now I was smashing myself into stuff right in front of James. Behind him, another agent, this one a woman, was heading toward the clinic. “I don’t think that’s relevant to your investigation,” I snapped.

  Oh, wow, he was obnoxious, but he smelled good. Like he’d used fresh pine shampoo mixed with mint. I couldn’t help but take a second breath, just to experience the novelty of someone who didn’t smell like cattle.

  He frowned at me. Even his downturned lips were handsome, damn him. With a sudden lurch, all the irritation I felt toward him flipped into crystal clear awareness that he could not see my kid. My stomach, which was faithfully in knots most of the time now anyway, helpfully twisted into a complete pretzel.

  “Are you okay? Do you need a ride?” he asked.

  “Oh, my god.” I tried to keep my voice low so the other agents didn’t hear. Not because I really cared about making a good impression myself—it was too late for that—but because I did care about the reputation of our little town and I didn’t want their first meeting with a citizen other than the sheriff to be with a raging lady in filthy clothes. “I wouldn’t accept a ride from you if both my legs were broken.”

  His brown eyes widened and his frown smoothed into a natural line. Ah. I’d definitely gotten to him if he was giving me his blank face. He always kept his emotions locked down and hidden from the world. Guess that hadn’t changed a bit either.

  “Bree.” His jaw tightened up. I’d seen it a million times before. “Don’t be like that,” he said.

  What the hell? “Listen, it looks like all your dreams came true, although I’m not sure you meant for them to come true here in Texas. But that has nothing to do with me. Stay out of my way.” I pushed around him, careful not to wipe my grime on him or any of the other agents, who looked like life-size dolls dressed in office clothes.

  He didn’t speak to me again.

  Back in my truck, I squeezed my steering wheel and took a few gasping breaths. Four years had gone by since I’d last seen James and I had been pretty certain I’d never see him again, at least not here in Laurel Bay. I didn’t have a back up plan for dealing with him. My plan had been to ignore him and pretend he didn’t exist. It had been working pretty well, until Ian turned four.

  The older Ian got, the more I’d started to question my decision to keep him from his father. Now that my son was four, he’d started asking about his dad and who he was. He was going to turn five in September, and I’d given myself a deadline until then to contact James and let him know he had a child.

  But that would have been on my terms and I’d have been prepared. I never dreamed I’d be forced to consider it so much sooner. If James found out about Ian, would he want to see him? Would he visit him? From the way James had acted in the past, I didn’t figure he’d come visit Ian very often. James’s ca
reer goals always came first and relationships only got in the way.

  I’d suffered from a disinterested father and I didn’t want that for Ian. No father was better than a crappy one in my opinion. I hadn’t even considered that James might want partial or full custody. I couldn’t think about that now. Once my hands stopped trembling, I drove straight to the ranch.

  Racing inside, I shed my bloody shirt before anyone could see it and freak out. Once I was dressed in a long sleeve t-shirt and shorts, I headed back downstairs.

  To keep him occupied, I handed Ian the water hose and some pie tins. He loved the hose, but he went so crazy with it that I saved it as a rare treat. While Ian made mud pies, I asked Mary and Walter to come out onto the porch so we could talk.

  “James is here,” I said without a lead-in.

  “Our James?” Mary said. Mary was a nice lady. It was too bad she hadn’t married Walter until James was seventeen. Then, maybe James wouldn’t have been so uptight. Maybe he wouldn’t have run away the second he had the chance. I hadn’t been enough to hold him here, though, so I wasn’t sure a mother figure would have been enough either.

  I mean, wow. Now they were calling him our James. Were these the same people who’d said he should get his ass out of their house and never show his face there again? I couldn’t detect any trace of that strong feeling right now.

  “Yes. That James. Your son,” I said.

  “Why is he here? Does he want to come home?” Walter asked.

  Home? Had Walter been possessed? Had he been body-snatched, too? James had never thought of Laurel Bay as home. He’d always wanted to leave and never come back. “Uh, no. I don’t think he does. He’s actually an FBI agent.”

  “Oh.” Mary’s face split into a smile. “He always wanted that.”

  Was I in The Twilight Zone and I didn’t know it? Since when was Mary rooting for James’s career choices? I’d heard her myself when we were eighteen. She’d told him to get those foolish notions out of his head and get real. Then she’d handed him a rake to spread the hay out on the field.

  “Okay,” I said. “He’s here for work, so maybe he won’t come to the ranch. I just wanted you to know.”

  “For work? Why’s the FBI here?” Walter asked.

  Well, shit. How much should I tell them? They were prone to hysteria more often than not. A drought usually sent them spiralling into a major panic. “There’s a threat to the power grid.”

  “Power grid?” Walter said. “That’ll send us into another depression! The stock market won’t recover for years.”

  Here we go.

  Walter had never owned a stock a day in his life, but I wouldn’t be reminding him of that fact.

  “Oh, my goodness.” Mary was already up and fussing. “I better go check the pantry. I can start canning right now. Walter, you better go pick the rest of those strawberries and I can make them into jam. The peas are—”

  “Mary. Thank you. They did recommend that we stock up on a few weeks’ worth of food. But hang on. He isn’t likely to, but what if James does come here?”

  “Why would he come here after all this time?” she asked.

  “He’d come here if it was part of his job,” I said.

  Walter pulled his wallet out and picked through the one dollar bills until he found a fifty. He didn’t have much money, but he liked to keep what he had in his wallet at all times. “Here.” He pushed the fifty at me. “Take this and take Ian to my sister’s house. She’ll let you stay and we won’t tell her why.”

  Was I a monster for making these people participate in hiding their grandchild from his father? We certainly hadn’t planned for this. I hadn’t meant to make them my accomplices; it just kind of happened and evolved over time. Jeez, this was like something out of a daytime soap opera.

  “No. We aren’t going anywhere, especially if there’s some kind of danger out there. I’m sure Laurel Bay won’t be the only place affected. I’d rather stay here with you guys,” I said.

  Mary paced around the porch, shooting glances at Ian while he immersed himself fully in the mud. Spider, the sheep dog, had joined him and was now pawing at the mud, which made Ian throw his head back and laugh.

  It struck me then how fortunate I was to have them. My own parents were gone. My dad had never been anything but a grifter, and he’d died a few years ago. My mother, who was the most amazing woman I’d ever met, had passed away just a few months after Ian was born. Many women in my place might have ended up in a shelter or in a cheap, unsafe apartment, but Ian and I were here, living on a big ranch. The farmhouse was old and could use some upkeep, but overall it was clean and Mary and Walter made sure it was safe. We were struggling with the bills, but so were a lot of people. Ian had gotten to spend the first four years of his life in wide open spaces with green grass and plenty of animals to play with. I should never take that for granted.

  “Walter, Mary,” I said. “No matter what happens, I just want to say thank you for taking us in.”

  Walter coughed. “Girl, you have given us the greatest joy with that little boy. No need to thank us.”

  “Exactly,” Mary said. “But do you think we were too rash? When we told James to leave? We were just so upset for you, honey. Maybe he would have been a good dad. I didn’t see it then, but maybe he deserves a second chance.”

  I shook my head. That wasn’t an option. Not after what I’d seen today. “No. He was a jerk today. No.”

  “Okay, honey.” She patted my arm like always. “We’ll respect your wishes.”

  “We sure will. You don’t have to tell me that son of mine is pig-headed.” Not fond of gentle patting, Walter gave me a pat on the back that felt more like a strong slap. “Now. We all have work to do. I’m gathering up any fruit and vegetables from the garden that might be ready.”

  Moved, I sniffed. The moment was ruined when I looked up to see Ian with a gleeful smile on his face, just as he aimed the water hose straight at my face. I yelped as the water hit me, while Walter and Mary laughed and scooted out of the way. I jumped over the porch railing. “I’m going to get you!”

  Unfortunately for me, I missed and slid down, straight onto my butt. Right in Ian’s brand-new mud hole.

  “Mommy’s in the mud pie!” he squealed.

  “Mommy’s the tickle monster!” I waved my muddy hands at him.

  Sometimes life sucked. But sometimes it didn’t. At that moment, I felt pretty lucky.

  4

  James

  In my three years at the Bureau, I’ve seen some intense stuff. I’ve taken a bullet to the leg. I’ve been shot at with an AR-15. I’ve been chased by a woman high on PCP. I’ve had cocaine thrown in my face, and I’ve had a suspect jump off a building in front of me with only a giant kite to keep him aloft.

  And all of that happened while working in the cybercrimes division.

  But none of it compared to the jolt that ripped through me the instant I saw Bree again. The sight of her was like being punched right in the face by a bear. Seeing her shouldn’t have been a surprise. She’s lived here her whole life, and the mere suggestion that she leave with me had been abhorrent to her.

  I had not been prepared to see her coming out of the clinic covered in blood. No matter how long it has been, some of those old feelings resurfaced. Not the surge I used to feel, but something wilder. Something primitive.

  Back then, I’d loved her, although she said it wasn’t enough.

  After her rejection, I’d thought the love I felt for her had withered and died. But the attraction sure as Hell hadn’t gone anywhere. Bree was as gorgeous as ever. She was tough as nails, but her face was delicate with fine cheekbones, wide set eyes, and wavy brown hair that touched her shoulders. Her full lips were always pink and her green eyes sparkled with almost constant mischief. As a straight-laced rule follower, her fiery spunk had been a major appeal.

  It’s never going to happen. You’re here for work. You’re going to keep it professional. Suck it up.

  I s
till didn’t understand the anger she felt toward me. She was the one who broke up with me. Yes, I’d made plans for us to move out of state without consulting her, but I’d thought she’d be happy. I’d considered my scholarship as our way out of Laurel Bay.

  Enough. Bree was gone. She’d marched away, and I was here to work. I cleared my mind enough to interview the doctor. Something was off about that guy; I couldn’t put my finger on it.

  “Did you get an odd vibe from him?” I asked my partner Jennifer.

  “Yep. He kept looking at the door and then back to his phone.”

  “I’ll make a note of it,” I said. “What’s next?”

  “The ranches on the outskirts of town. Boss thinks they might be using them to set up shop. The other team is taking the east side of town and we’ve got the west.”

  Perfect. My dad and his wife lived on a ranch on the west side. I could ask to trade with the other team, but I wasn’t going to wimp out on this. It was bad enough that Jennifer had already witnessed the exchange I’d had with Bree.

  “I’ll drive,” I said. “No GPS needed out here.”

  “I have to admit, it’s pretty nice to see you flustered.”

  “What?” I’d learned long ago to keep my face neutral.

  “That woman from the clinic. The one with the plaid peach shirt and the bandaged arm. She rattled your cage. Big time.”

  “She’s, um. An ex-girlfriend.”

  “Oh, do tell.”

  “There is nothing to tell. It was a normal high school relationship. We broke up when I left for college.”

  “Oh no,” Jennifer said, drawing the words out. “There is more to that story. Way more. Normal high school exes don’t glare at each other like they want the other one to spontaneously combust. I have an ex-boyfriend from high school. When I go home to visit, I have dinner with him and his wife.”